Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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