dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize