There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
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Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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