Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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