meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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