I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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