y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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