my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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