she was so not down for the gang bang
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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