We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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