i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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