i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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