I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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