i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize