I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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