Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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