apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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