Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize