I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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