Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Panties = found
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize