im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
And then he peed in my hair
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