thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize