I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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