my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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