Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize