I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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