She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize