Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize