i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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