She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
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