My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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