Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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