ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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