Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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