would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize