i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize