Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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