Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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