Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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