Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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