I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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