Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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