My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize