You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
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Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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