I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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