i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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