quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so much tequila, so little girl.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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