Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize