are you still at the devil's house?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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