tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize